what if bodies just had random errors like computers do

you go to receive your starbucks coffee and accidentally punch the barrista in the face then shit on the floor

(via runningwithsnicket)

Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.

I’m in love with having fun and I’m having fun being “in love.”

Yay. Yoohoo. We’re living it, we’re making it right.

Fuck however I sound like any shallow love songs about yolo. This is the dumbeast shit I’ve ever written.

Yep I meant dumbest and that was a typo, but I turned out to like it, so what’s up.

Let’s go home late and sing on the road. Play a prank on me and then I’d curse you. Do it like you like it and I’ll pretend to hate it. Fuck you and myself too, you’re a villain I’d sing this to.

Kedengeran bego bgt kan gue. Ah gapapa, sekali2 writing a shit I’ll regret.


I’m feeling overwhelmed.

I have experienced many unpredictable moments in the last three days. I think I’m having this sort of….lost words moment right now and I can’t quite figure out how the helllll could these things happen.

The Lord is testing me right now. Uooogghh God-___-


marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song

(via heyfunniest)


We’ve spent years breaking them, and you’ve spent life building them.

Why so many lines?


When you say something smart and people are shocked


(via thefuuuucomics)




I just realized that “mini” is short for “minimal” and I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down

Wait that’s not even true it’s short for “miniature” FUCK MY LIFE

minimal golf. not too much golf. just enough golf so it wont piss you off.

(Source: billhitchert, via thefuuuucomics)

I hope it opens up your eyes, kar.

Lapak lu kebanyakan di kepala gue.

Monopoli. Beuh.